Love is not enough.

Love means so many different things to different people. It can be watered down and filtered to the point where it only means one thing or the opposite of what you expect it to mean. Attention, Devotion, Trust, Friendship, Communication, Value, Respect, Passion, and Compassion could all fall under the category of love and they all matter in terms of relationships and coexistence. What other terms mean love for you in regards to relationships?


Is there a difference between racism, stereotyping and general offenses?

Racism is defined as a hatred for another because of skin color or race.  It is also defined as a belief of being superior to another race.  Sometimes I hear the word used in context that doesn’t fit this definition.  In some cases stereotyping, myths, or offenses would due just fine.  I hear the same thing in reference to the words sexism, anti-semitism, and homophobia.

If I said, “did you not eat your watermelon today?”  That would not necessarily be a racist statement especially if I’m not a racist.  It could be construed as a racist comment.  However, it may just be me speaking from ignorance about a culture.  Thus making it not a racist comment but a stereotype or an offensive comment from ignorance.

Now, if I said, “no black people are allowed in my house at no time, ever!”  That may be racist.  It may be based off of non-racist things, though, such as a stereotype that most people who are black are thieves.  This stereotype may influence someone’s actions but may not be meant as racist.  Now, someone who actually hates black people or believes that they are inferior, automatically makes this statement and the one before it racist.  It has a racist intent and heart behind it.

My personal resolve is to find out where a person’s heart is when they make comments that may sound racist, sexist, and the like.  Knowing a person’s level of ignorance about a culture and where they stand socially in regards to another race, gender, or a person’s lifestyle choice is key in determining if a statement is racist, stereotyping, or just an offensive remark.  What do you think?

I am thankful that my mom decided to keep me.

I know this is a personal and touchy issue.  My attitude is that women have a God given right to their bodies and the choices they make with them are their own.  I also am against the idea of abortion though the previous sentence still stands.

One thing I have resolved is to be thankful that my mom, though she was very young and probably scared of the new experience, decided to give birth to me and my siblings.  It helps me to appreciate more when a woman makes the choice to let her baby develop and live.  My hats off to you women who had the guts and the courage to put aside your feelings and give the baby a chance.

Do you have an “I can’t wait to do” life?

I think dating is useless and random.  It’s a probability game.  Often I find myself attracted to certain women only to find out things about them that I’m not into or are like girls from my past and are a danger to my peace.  I realize dating for a lot of people is sometimes stressful and hopeless.  I feel you.

However, I’ve met some great women while I was out doing things that I totally enjoyed.  These women had all the character traits that influenced me to be myself and enjoy the moment with them.  The difference was that I wasn’t into them beyond friendship.  But, when I think about the scenarios where I was with these types of women I realize I was doing what made me come alive.  I was in my purpose and I was enjoying my life, versus, meeting an attractive woman on a bus or in a classroom or bookstore or a customer at a job I worked.  These women turned out to be too aggressive, too obsessed, or indifferent and sometimes indignant.  I’m seeing a pattern.

What if meeting the right one would mean ditching the job that pays the bills and learning trades within your passion (dream) job and paying the bills doing what you love to do.  Surround yourself with all the things that make you wake up and go, “man, I can’t wait to do that”!  Instead of a life that is full of “I gotta do” or “I must do” or “I’d rather die than do”.  Gradually, get yourself an “I can’t wait to do” life!  And just like all the best friends you’ve had throughout your life your “one” might emerge from the places that make you come alive because they’ll be doing them too.

It’s not as simple as that, I realize.  But, in this way you meet people who are doing all the things you love to do and you will be interacting with them.  This is your icebreaker, your date without dating.  Get to know them.  I imagine that pretty soon you’ll have that moment with the “one” as you did when you realized you were talking to your best friend.  I believe this is a way to do that.

My motto: Be what you need to be when you need to be it.

If you are aggressive or passive, introvert or extrovert, learn to ebb and flow within these things as needed.  There will be situations when you won’t need to be aggressive.  If you find yourself being one way in every situation, I think it would benefit you in the long run to learn to adapt to different styles and ways of approaching a situation other than the way you’ve always done it.  Be what you need to be when you need to be it.

Being held accountable and taking responsibility… always the key

Some of us need other situations and/or people holding us accountable in reference to keeping fit and healthy.  I find that whenever I’m in a classroom setting I do my best work because I try to rise to the teacher’s standards and outlines for the course.

Likely, when in a situation where a coach or a personal trainer is “drilling” me or pushing me forward, I find motivation to rise to his or her standards and excel.

Also, a team will motivate me as well in that I acknowledge that I have a responsibility to come through for team and I want to be at my best to compete and not be dead weight in the midst of a battle, so to speak.

After awhile wanting to stay fit for vanity reasons or long life gets played out especially if you know that you don’t really have to do the workouts, right?…  Right.